Hope or embodied sadness?

Now my name is Hope. That’s what I’ve heard when someone photographed me. They told me to be jolly and maybe my life will change. I tried to smile but I didn’t succeed. I lost any hope for a better life. Now I’m living on the streets and for a few days i will stay to Spiru Haret.

I understood I will suffer a surgery that will help me stop worrying for any future kittens, meaning I will be neutered. Life on the streets is very hard for me and I don’t wish that for my kittens, so I am very glad that I won’t bring them in this world anymore .
After these few days I will be again on the streets and that’s terrifies me.
Am I so ugly that nobody wants me?
If someone decides to transform my sadness in joy and hope, I ask him/her to write to asociatia.robi@gmail.com .
How is it always to smile, be happy and protected? Do you have that?